Every Monday I post Real Life Minimalists, a profile of one of my readers in their own words. If you’d like to participate, click here for details.
I’m so happy to receive this update from Apple, who was originally featured in June 2011. I love how her family has continued to refine their minimalist lifestyle, rejecting busyness and embracing ways to live waste-free.
Apple writes:
Since my last feature on missminimalist, I have been opening up to, and braving the quietness of an even more uncomplicated and mindful life. Both myself and my husband completed our studies, changed careers. We both have professions which give us joy and meaning. My husband either walks into work or avails of our city’s public bicycle rental scheme. I work part-time, when the children are in school, only a 15 minute drive from home. Our growing children take a few minutes walk to school. We still live in the “small house with red door” (just over 1000sq ft), close to the city centre, the sea, in a neighbourhood full of old trees, parks, a playground, river, excellent schools, cafès, restaurants, shops and a wonderful organic market. It would be nice to have a bigger house, but we are not prepared to move and give up on our area, or to get a larger mortgage.
Life is simple and slow. Our calendar isn’t full. We have time for our family, to volunteer and to chill. Our boys have organized afternoon activities only a couple of afternoons a week, and on Saturday mornings. It feels good to prioritize, and stick to what is important for us. It is exhilarating not to envy the constantly buzzing, busy families.
Since we sold, gave away and recycled our clutter, we have also been moving closer to waste free living. Similarly to minimalism, I first needed to accept my zero-waste self before I could find comfort in openly living a zero-waste lifestyle. Initially, it was awkward when pleople made assumptions noticing my home-made toothpaste, beetroot lipgloss, or when I produced my glass container at the butchers. As with reducing our belongings and simplifying our lives, we are now minimizing our impact on Earth with our refusal of packaging and unnecessary chemicals.
We are not perfect minimalists. We are not perfectly zero-waste. However, we are happy and contented living our chosen lifestyle.
I see my old self in family members, friends, neighbours who are too afraid to be different and to seem less than perfect. They are trying to fit into the culture of “busy” and “popular”, shopping for easy-to-pick-up disposable items, buying the latest must-haves for the perfect body, hair, life, arranging a constant stream of activities for their children. As if time and silence was something to be ashamed of. Or, is time and silence something to be afraid of? Maybe when we remove the excess, slow down and look into ourselves, that is when we really see who we are without camouflage and distractions. Maybe it is imperfection and vulnerability what we are afraid of. Maybe we do have to wait until we are truly ready to simplify, declutter, be vulnerable and grow.
{If you’d like to learn more about minimalist living, please consider reading my book, The Joy of Less, or joining my email list.}
Isn’t it nice when you step off the busy train and get to living??? I know exactly how you feel. As I push myself further into minimalism and right sizing my life, I watch in awe of others who keep working toward the “stuff” in life. I get being successful but it doesn’t have to come with things, or the things we let society define us by.
I’d love to get more details about your shopping kit. This is an area I would like to work on. I already use permanent grocery bags most of the time when I shop, but it looks like you go many steps further. Please share! I’m a new reader of this blog but I’ve already received so much inspiration from all the great posts.
More detailed about my shopping kit? Happy to talk about my ongoing minimalism turned zero-waste journey! :) Once a week we make a meal-plan, and I do the weekly shopping accordingly. At the butchers, I use my glass boxes for meat, fish, seafood. Then I go to a farm market to get my fruit and vegetables in the mesh bags, and my bread and nuts in the cotton bags.
We also have shops nearby where they refill my empty egg-cartons, and one where cheese, cold meats, olives and salads are sold by weight, and where they allow people to use their own clean containers. There are lots of zero-waste blogs available to gain ideas from.
Doesn’t ZW mean being a vegan? You don’t see the contradiction there?
You have made progress. The others, family members, friends and neighbors, will learn from your example. They may or may not change but you have and that’s what’s important.
I suspect that for most, it’s fear that keeps them — us from time and silence. I, too, would love to see an explanation of how you use your shopping kit. Good, thought-provoking post!
Hi Apple, would you be willing to share the name of your hometown? We are looking to move and your list of attributes for your city is exactly what we are interested in…especially the “by the sea” part. :). Let me know and I’ll send my email if you want to stay private. Thank you! Samantha
Hi Samantha, we are in Europe, so that’s probably not much help to you; I’m sorry.
Hallelujah! I love your last statement about minimalism be a process that you have to be ready for. That you have to be ready to be vulnerable and imperfect. I find it so interesting that many of my reflections I have been having on my own during my minimalism process is echoed on the online community.
I see how living a life of “fitting in” , and keeping up with how life “should be” can result in having excess posessions. Also, if we are not ready to listen to ourselves; understand, accept and love who we are, it can be necessary to avail of the constant distraction and excuse of “stuff” and “busy”. :)
By the way, Courtney, I love your blog!
Suffering is caused by false judgements of value.
Great insight, that fear is probably one of the things that stop us. Thank you, beautiful words :)
Hi Apple,
Are those boxes from Ikea ? If so I use the same ones for our “less waste” shopping. I find them quite heavy, though. Thanks for sharing your great thoughts. We haven’t gotten past the first stage of “zero waste”… Still wavering betweeen “just normal” shopping and making an effort to take containers with us. Did you find it hard at the beginning ?
Yes, Lisa, first I found it awkward, and took courage to give my Ikea glass box to the butcher and to explain that he needs to weigh the box before weighing the meat. Or that I don’t need him to put the meat in a plastic bag before putting it into the containers. Or that if they are advertising 5 apples for €2, it does not matter if the apples are in the shop’s plastic bag, or my mash bag. :) But, luckily, I have found the majority of butchers, greengrocers are very friendly and cooperative. I just did not go back to the ones who were not cooperative and not nice. I now have my shopping routine, my weekly menu plans, so simplifying and zero-waste is easy enough. I can only encourage you!
Love the idea of moving toward waste free living. That is definitely an area we can improve. I feel like we are always taking one step forward and two steps back. It’s a process…
Just found this wonderful blog today and have been reading various posts. Apple, where in Europe do you live? Are you in Copenhagen? Or elsewhere? When I lived in Portugal for awhile, prior to it joining the EU, and found the butcher to be separate from the baker, etc; and not in one large shopping complex like in the USA, I found it quite refreshing. However, upon return to the USA and going to Walmart with family, all the stuff and choices of stuff or food was very overwhelming for awhile until I was desensitized again to it all.
I will live in Europe again and was wondering about your country, city centre. Thank you, Francine Jay for this blog and all the inspiring posts and guest posts! Cheers!
I definitely appreciate where you’re coming from, and I empathize. Prioritizing time over “accomplishment” has been life-altering for me. It’s also nice to extend compassion to those around you who aren’t experiencing this newfound joy and awareness. It’s important not to be judgemental. For example, I’m not sure why you’re equating buying disposable products with being ashamed of time and silence. Perhaps they are suffering from an unseen disability, and those paper towels make their lives a little easier, or maybe they are busy with things others can’t fathom, like caring for a sick family member, or running a small business that is their life’s passion. There is also joy in letting go of the need to compare oneself to others, or to moralize over personal differences.
Thank you very much for sharing your journey in such a public forums like this. You are an inspiration to many.
I found these videos very helpful in helping me empathize with why someone may want to buy packaged foods.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KqccAteR1pQ
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=umiOuVA7PEc
I was a vegetarian for a period of years. I still eat meat only once or twice a year. At home we have meatless dinners a few times a week. Usually beans and rice or pasta with marinara sauce. We have fish, chicken or eggs more often. I consider this a victory because my husband’s family had beef every night for dinner. Whenever I get something, I give away something or a few things. I am thinking of buying a pair of shoes and a pair of black slacks. If I do, several things will need to go.