My husband and I travel a lot, and people sometimes ask us if we worry about our apartment while we’re gone. Our answer: not particularly. The reason: we have nothing to steal.
Sure, we have stuff—clothing, kitchenware, books, and a few pieces of furniture. However, I can’t imagine anyone wanting any of it. And if they need it so badly that they have to steal it, they probably need it more than we do.
Anything we have of value—like our iPods, cell phones, cash, and wedding rings—is almost always with us.
The only thing I’d even come close to “worrying about” is my laptop. However, it’s old enough to have little street value, and heavy enough to be unappealing to most thieves. I’d be more irritated to have to reconstruct its contents (which I could, from backups) than upset about its loss.
In fact, if it weren’t for personal safety issues (or having to evict a squatter that moves in in our absence), we could just as well leave the door unlocked.
Nine years ago, the apartment in which we were living was burglarized. The thief went through a tremendous effort to break down the door (actually tearing apart the jamb), and I love to imagine the look on his face when he saw this:
(And before anyone feels compelled to criticize our aesthetics, please remember that this was nine years ago—we were young, broke, and thought fairy lights were the ultimate in home décor. Our tastes have become a little more sophisticated since then; though admittedly, I still love fairy lights!)
Ok, back to the robbery. Now I know your typical thief isn’t exactly a rocket scientist, but you’d think that anyone seeing those two rooms would decide not to waste their time.
Not our thief. Undeterred, he ransacked every closet and drawer, optimistic that he’d find the treasure we’d surely hidden away.
His take: a portable CD player, an empty purse, a lipstick (!), and a ziplock bag of Canadian coins. When I think back on the incident, I still picture a cross-dressing burglar, jamming to some tunes, heading north to spend approximately three dollars of Canadian money.
When I returned home to find the mess, I called the police immediately, as I was afraid the robber might still be on the premises. An officer showed up a few minutes later. He looked around the apartment, eyes wide, and said, “Wow, he really wiped you out.” I couldn’t help but laugh as I rattled off the four missing items. He looked at me incredulously: “Are you sure that’s all he took?”
“Yes, officer. I’m sure.”
“Okay…” he replied, still not sure whether to believe me—but he seemed pretty happy that the police report only took a few minutes to fill out.
People say that a home burglary can be a devastating experience; but for us, life went on as usual. If it happened again today, I’d feel the same—as long as I’m not home at the time, I really don’t care what anyone takes. It’s just another great benefit of being a minimalist: the fewer your things (and the less attached you are to them), the fewer your worries.
Moral of the story #1: If you’re living a life of crime, don’t bother to rob a minimalist.
Moral of the story #2: Life is much easier when you have nothing to steal.
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I spoke about this to my husband the other day when we discuused the house contents insurance renewal; ours is fairly inexpensive as we don’t have much of real value; we considered self insuring however decided to take minimal cover.
Hi Laura! We had minimal cover back in the US, only because it was so inexpensive; we haven’t bothered with it here, though.
Hi,
I love your blog. Since I stumbled upon minimalism a few weeks ago I read everything I could about the subject. I am writing about minimalism on my own blog now, too.
I got rid of a lot of stuff already, but my house is still stuffed.(I live in the Netherlands, please forgive me any incorrect use the of English language)
Your blog is really great.
When I read this post I just can´t wait for the day I have so little items left that I could laugh at a thief. I keep seeing the burglar as you described him, and I have to laugh every time I read it again.
Keep posting. Did I already mention I love your blog?
Greetings from a Dutch wannabe minimalist.
Thanks so much, Meibloempje — it’s great to have you here. Best of luck with your decluttering!
*laughing*
That’s our apartment now!
If someone broke in while we were gone, they’d at least get 2 bikes, a printer, and maybe some pots and pans.
The rest of the electronics are always with us (along with my jewellery & makeup), and we have nothing else of value for him to take.
No TV, no stereo system…
Oh wait! But he could take my old shoes :)
LOL, FB! Much better than having a burglar alarm, isn’t it? ;-)
LOL Whata great story! My girlfriend and I live tpretty much the same. We have a little more furniture (kitchen table, 3 sofas, kitchen stuff) but other than that, I imagine a burglar would leave us some money to buy stuff so he can rob us later. HAHAHA
Awesome article, as usual!
Thanks, Morelos! “I imagine a burglar would leave us some money to buy stuff” — love it!
Haha I love this story! There’s encouragement to declutter if ever there was any!xx
Thanks, rachel!
I am fortunate enough never to have been burgled but because I am not that bothered about my stuff I have never bought contents insurance! It would be interesting to see how much money I must have saved over 30 years! When I first owned a home I had so little stuff anyway and a very tight budget indeed so I just never bothered and that is how it has gone on. If I did get burgled I wouldnt bother to replace half the stuff anyway. I am paring down on stuff year by year anyway.
I’m with you, Frances. We haven’t bothered with contents insurance here in the UK, either.
This is the funniest thing I’ve read for ages! Thank you! I will continue to giggle over the determined burglar and bemused police officer. Fantastic.
I’ve had the same thought about our place. It’s a great way to realize how much of our stuff we wouldn’t miss.
So glad you liked it, Flora! The funny thing is, I’m sure some of us would be *relieved* if someone came in and did our decluttering for us. ;-)
What a fun story! Imagining what must have gone through that police man’s mind makes me smile.
One more good reason to keep bringing the number of possessions down.
Thanks, Jarkko! I’ll never forget the look on the policeman’s face — really wish I had a photo. :-)
I love this. It justifies my decision not to carry renter’s insurance. As for the robber needing it more than you do, I am reminded of a story told about my grandmother. She woke one night to find a young woman in her kitchen going through her cabinets. My grandmother quietly brought out a box and helped the woman pack it with food.
Wow, Rick — love the story about your grandmother. What a wonderful lady!
Hahahahahaha! Clearly the criminal didn’t do his research before breaking in. Priceless!
Hi Sarah! I’ll never understand why he picked our building; it certainly wasn’t “nice” by any stretch of the imagination!
I wonder if the lipstick was the right shade for the burglar?
I’ve always said if someone broke into my house they would feel sorry for me and leave me stuff!
Hey Zoe — I’d love to know why he took the lipstick. It was Chanel, so he had good taste. But still…
despite your misfortune i found myself laughing! reminds me of when i first started dating my now husband. although i’d lived in my apt. about 5 years, his first comment whe he saw my home was, “did you just move in?”.
LOL, dianon — we used to get this all the time! We had DSL installed about three years after we moved into our house, and that’s the first thing the technician said when he walked in. :-)
The only thing we worry about now are our cats, and we either board them or have a friend feed and check on them. Either way, our place would be hard to break in anyway, as it’s in plain view and there are maintenace people coming and going around the complex all day.
As mentioned by others, another reason to live the minimalist lifestyle.
Hi Gil! That’s always nice to have other “eyes” on your place.
Brilliant! Haha, I would have loved to see the look on the robber’s face too! I’ve never thought about burglary, but yes come to think of it, if there’s not much to steal, then then there’s not much to get upset about either! I just can’t wait for the minimalist revolution to come, it would definitely put robbers out of business :)
Great post as always!
Good point, Jessica — a minimalist world would mean much less crime. :-)
$3 in canadian money!
Priceless.
Abhishek, I would *love* to know what he did with it!
First, I love your lights. I have some myself. : )
We were in the process of moving from CA to TX and left to go to my son’s birthday party at school. We came back and hour and half later and found our screen door ripped off. My first thoughts were “Where is my dog and where is my laptop?” Those were the only 2 things I was concerned about. I am in college and my laptop is my lifeline. I don’t think the burglars were prepared to meet at 75lb Boxer at the door and she is our blessing. I would only worry if they destoyed my pics, because I cannot replace those. The rest is gravy. : )
Your post has me laughing. Such a desperate person to steal what they did find.
Hi, Heather! Glad you like the lights. :-) You’re right, you’d have to be desperate to take that stuff; I actually felt kind of sorry for him.
Brings to mind the line from the 70s song “Me and Bobbie McGee” “Freedom’s just another word for nothing left to lose”
Though if you were young in 2001 that makes this song waaaaay before your time. The Janis Joplin version of the song topped the charts in something like 1971
Great blog! Thanks for the awareness you bring.
Thanks, Kate! As the years go by, it’s always nice to find *something* before your time. ;-)
Wonderful! I would LOVE to have seen his/her face when they walked in!
Kudos on the “And if they need it so badly that they have to steal it, they probably need it more than we do.” part though, that’s very noble of you.
Thanks for sharing :)
Glad you liked it, ws102. I do find it sad that people end up in these desperate situations. I would have preferred to have just given him the stuff.
Great reminder! A co-worker had her house broken into this week and she said it was the 2nd or 3rd time in as many years. They didn’t take much (probably because of the alarm) but it sounded like she was worried that so much would be missing.
How much easier our life would be if we held tightly to relationships and loosely to our stuff.
“How much easier our life would be if we held tightly to relationships and loosely to our stuff” — very wise words, Jonathan. Thank you!
Ha, i would have loved to see the look on the police mans face when you told him they only took 4 things, priceless.
Another good thing about not having anything is in the event of fire, or other disaster. Everyone is so worried about grabbing this and that… you just need to grab one another and high tail it.
Exactly, finallygettingtoeven! In the event of a fire, there’s nothing I’d feel compelled to “save.” I’d only grab my laptop if it was right next to me and wouldn’t delay my exit.
Francine, this truly made me smile, and laugh out loud. That policemen’s expression must have been priceless, and the thief, well, the joke was on him, that’s for sure.
What a great entry, thank you for sharing.
By the way, I finished your book, and I LOVED it. Keep up the great work!
HK, thanks so much for the nice words about my book — your comment made my day! :-)
What a brilliant post. We do have stuff (I don’t have a pension plan, my investments are art and limited edition books), and yes, I do worry about being broken in to while we are away – we have very comprehensive insurance! But at the end of the day they are just things, and things that I am not too attached to.
But your point is so valid – part of me would like to sell all the ‘big stuff’ and live more like your life. We move very often, so maybe in the next couple of years we as a family can come to some agreement and have a home that suits our minimalism – and would disappoint a would-be burglar :)
Thanks, Natalia! Well, art is certainly much prettier than a pension plan. :-) I love art, but my one experience schlepping it around (a print I bought after graduating college) completely dampened my enthusiasm for owning it. Maybe I am just too lazy!
Haha, that made my day. I can just imagine a burglar counting out his handful of coins at the border!
Hi Fern! I don’t think the exchange rate was very good back then, either…
The burgular that visited our house took cds – who cares about those? He left the TV – it was so poor!
LOL, anna! Ours left the TV *and* our laptops. :-)
Love it!!! This is my new favourite post
Thanks, Kate!
It’s funny because about 9 years ago when I was living in Canada I was buying some Pop Tarts at my local gas station when this large hairy guy with tattoos ran in the gas station sweating and looking nervous.For same strange reason he had badly applied lipstick and kept asking the attendant whether he had enough change to buy a pack of chewing gum, 2 Mars bars, and a copy of the National Enquirer.He just covered the cost by using some coins which were kept in a slightly beaten up ladies purse.After making his purchases he thrust a ziplock bag in my hand and siad’Here is a gift for you’.I then watched bemused as he ran out the door sweating, jumped in a redneck pickup truck, gave me a hearty wave and sped off.The strangest aspect of the story was that he had U.S plates.Odd.
LMAO, Jim! This is exactly the “closure” I needed. ;-)
I know I am over 2 years late, but I just found this website some days ago. Your comment made me laugh so hard I started crying. Awesome!
I adore your blog and this story had me in stitches. I’m just starting out on my “declutter” journey. Just opened my blog and am working on my About Me page. You’ve inspired me so much already and I’m looking forward to many more of your wonderful posts.
Thanks, Betty Jo! Best of luck with your blog — I look forward to reading it.
I almost spit out my drink reading this! Thieves aren’t the smartest, hence why they steal in the first place.
Exactly, Candice. Glad you liked the story. :-)
What scares me is the idea of someone breaking in while I’m here. Or while my sister is home alone.
This did make me think of things I actually worry about being stolen; my bike, my camera, my very favorite scarf and hat (both handknit by me). My school notebooks too. Not that they’d be valuable to anyone else, but losing my notes would be a huge pain to me.
Thanks for your comment, Mnymosene — it’s so interesting to hear about everyone’s “most important” possessions.
That’s so awesome. I think I have enough stuff that I thief could take if he wanted to. That’s the best (and cheapest)security system I can think of ;)
LOL, Aspiring Minimalist! :-)
How funny! I happened across your blog because of the link on Everyday Minimalist, and I’ll be back! :)
I personally don’t have anything that would devastate me if stolen, except my laptop (MacBook Pros are not cheap!) and my Canon camera. If I’m traveling, I carry both of those items with me, but when we’re home, my camera is here unprotected. My husband has a few game systems he would miss though.
Welcome, Red! Sure, I’d be somewhat annoyed to lose my laptop and camera, too — simply because I don’t feel like shopping for replacements. :-)
Hi Miss Mini,
Just found your blog today by way of finallygettingtoeven.com, by way of unclutterer.com. Always nice to read about other minimalists; I’m not where you are yet, in terms of Stuff, but I’m getting there! Consider yourself bookmarked.
Thanks, Patch — so glad you found me, and great to have you as a reader!
*Is Jealous*
Professional Camera Gear
Three Basses and an AMP
Possibly my camping Gear.
That stuff would get stolen.Some of that stuff I am rather attached too.
Not to mention the two frightened kittens.
Luke, hopefully they would be too awkward (or too heavy) for a thief to cart away!
Re your Moral of the story #1, did you ever consider you might have been robbed by a minimalist?
LOL, John Q. Public! :-)
What an excellent and funny post! Loved it, keep up the great work!
Thanks, Nina — glad you liked it!
I enjoy your blog & I loved the way you decorated your apartment 9 years ago!!! :)
Hi Pauline! So glad you’re enjoying the blog (and my decorative skills ;-) )!
That’s an awesome story! I love it ^_^
When I was in my early 20s I worked at Blockbuster and the store manager at the time was devastated because someone broke into the house that she and her sister lived in. Our manager started crying, it was a very emotional and bad experience for her. I’m lucky that I’ve never gone through that. I live with my bf and we don’t have renter’s insurance, we currently live in an apartment.
We only have the basics and just what we need. I think if any thief ever breaks in he’d probably take the 40″ inch flat screen tv, our desktop computers, maybe the microwave. Everything we have can be replaced easily and inexpensively. It really wouldn’t devastate us. Most of our stuff can be packed into our cars, except for the bed and the sofa. Sure we’d be annoyed that someone would steal from us and having to buy the basics again, but it wouldn’t completely change our lives.
I think I’d be more worried if the thief would come back but then again my bf is a gun owner so I feel pretty safe. btw I like your twinkle lights and bed from the pic, ah to have been a fly on the wall on the day of the robbery….
oh and I can’t imagine why anyone would take our sofa and bed, they’re so old, lol.
Where can I get those fairy lightys? They look so cool!
Found this site through thesimpledollar.com, anywho, I wonder if he’s ever heard of your site, and realized what happened afterwards? I’m assuming they’re not very smart, but who knows….
I think we can assume the burglar is NOT a reader of your blog!
Loved that story I’ve been on this road for a while now and hope others will see the need to join.Things just don’t make life rewarding people do!
wow. i hadn’t actually seen any pictures of a real minimalist house til now, that’s incredible. i have so far to go! and the story is so funny.
I know this is an old post, but this is my first visit to your blog, and it happened to catch my eye.
I love the way you wrote about this experience, and can’t wait to read through your archives. :-)