Every Monday I post Real Life Minimalists, a profile of one of my readers in their own words. If you’d like to participate, click here for details.
Today, we have a wonderful contribution from Sandra at Living Lagom, who shares her personal minimalist philosophy and experiences with us. Please check out her blog to read more!
Sandra writes:
Sandra at Living Lagom
My name is Sandra and I’m on a journey to living lagom. What is lagom? Lagom is a Swedish word that doesn’t have an English equivalent. It basically means, just the right amount. Nothing more, but nothing less either. Think Goldilocks and The Three Bears.
In fact, my journey to lagom started right here…well almost. I was looking to go away on an extended trip and I didn’t want to “suffer” like I had on so many previous trips by lugging around heavy suitcases. So I decided that I would only carry-on – something that I had never done before.
My Google searches for traveling with only one bag took me here to miss minimalist. I hadn’t considered minimalism before. I never really gave it much thought. But it was exactly what I was really searching for.
So I read every post and started reading other minimalist blogs too. That was over two years ago.
Since that time, I’ve gotten rid of boxes of stuff that I had been moving from apartment to apartment. Looking back, I realize it was silly to keep holding onto some of those things. But I do believe I wasn’t mentally ready at the time to let go. I’ve since let go – in a big way.
Not only have I decluttered my own items, I’ve also had to go through the emotional process of giving away my deceased parents things. It wasn’t easy, but I came to realize that my parents weren’t their stuff. By giving away their things, I wasn’t giving them away. They wouldn’t want me to hold onto their stuff out of guilt. So I’ve decided to keep only those things of theirs that were special to me.
Through it all, I’ve started to realize what’s really important in this life. And unsurprisingly, it isn’t having more stuff.
I’ve always valued my personal freedom. Minimalism and lagom have enabled me to start moving in the direction of my dreams. Because all along, I wasn’t just decluttering my stuff, I was also decluttering my mind.
I’m still a work in progress, but I know one day I will find my lagom.
{If you’d like to learn more about minimalist living, please consider reading my book, The Joy of Less, A Minimalist Living Guide, or subscribing to my RSS feed.}
Thanks for sharing, Sandra! (You know I’ve been a fan of your blog for some time!)
We went through the same thing after my mother-in-law passed away. I ended up keeping her charm bracelet, because that was very her. I wear it to our Christmas party every year, and I plan to one day pass it on to my daughter.
Thank you for sharing! I popped over to your blog and loved it too:) Lots of fun ideas and I love your pictures too. Have a great day!
“I’m still a work in progress, but I know one day I will find my lagom.”
We are all still a work in progress, and hopefully will never find our lagom, but keep fine tuning every day.
Dan @ ZenPresence.com
“I came to realize that my parents weren’t their stuff. By giving away their things, I wasn’t giving them away.” love this :)
I look forward to these every Monday! After the Lagom post recently, I went to Sandra’s blog and read it all. I LOVE the concept! Extreme minimalism is unrealistic for our family of 6, nor desirable. But excess is just as undesirable. Lagom. We continually refine our desires and priorities and then align our stuff to what’s important. As we change, our things change.
So true – people, even beloved, now-gone people, are NOT their stuff! And tossing the stuff does not mean losing the memories. Good for you for distinguishing between the two!
I think I’m going to enjoy reading your blog Sandra! I love the neatness of the word lagom and your friendly and stylish blog xo
Lagom! This is so cool! I love this concept. It is not living with nothing, but not living with everything.
Katie XX
Sweet Apple Lifestyle
Thanks Francine for posting my story and guiding me along the way! And thanks to everyone who has commented and visted my blog – I REALLY appreciate it!!! :)
*visited* – oopsie!
You stated that you have always valued your personal freedom and that is exactly what I find in minimalism as well. It is so freeing. Thank you for sharing your personal story.
MarieG LifeSimplyBalanced.com
Francine, Thank you so much for sharing Sandra’s story today! I hopped on over to her blog this morning and spent all of my downtime today reading her wonderful posts and falling in love with her writing style. I’m excited to have a new blogger to follow and feel connected to! I’m also a rather new reader of yours, perhaps only been lingering a few months. I actually didn’t know about your blog until I already owned your book! Keep up the good work ladies! I’m glad to see that there are such like minded thinkers out there that share so many of the same thoughts as I do!
Have to say – I love the photo!! :-) And the story is inspiring! As a swede I never saw the word “lagom” as very useful… it’s so undefined :-) (How much milk do you want in your coffee? “Lagom” Ehhh… how much is that?) But Sandra and her blog has given it a new meaning – in a possitive way! – and I like that!
Both my parents passed away quite a few years ago now, and we eventually cleared out all their stuff. It was hard letting go, but we knew we had to move on, and their “stuff” did not define the kind, loving, hard-working people they were. I had my Mum’s wedding and engagement rings, along with my Dad’s wedding ring, melted down and remodelled into a small diamond pendant. Along with all the wonderful memories, I wear this pendant every day, so Mum and Dad are with me every day :-)
I love the idea of Lagom. Thanks for sharing!
Loved your post, Sandra! I stumbled upon Miss Minimalist’s blog while searching for one-bag travel tips as well. I am still working towards minimizing and simplifying my life… But we’ll get to our happy place in time, right? Looking forward to checking out your blog :)
Truly loved your blog,Sandra!
I never ran across this before. We always travel with 1 small suitcase each so we can take public transportation everywhere we go like we do when we go into Chicago. When we were younger, we’d take the kids on long car trips and stop at a laundromat once a week. Many of our friends and relatives take cabs everywhere, but that isn’t what the locals do.
A friend went on a 6 day cruise. She bought 11 pairs of new slacks, among other things. When my DH and I go on a cruise I bring 2 pairs of slacks and 4 tops. And a carry on bag. I bring some cheap jewelry, pajamas, underwear, a pair of shoes and a jacket. She brings a really big suitcase and a smaller suitcase. I bring a tote bag and a small purse that fits inside. If I can’t carry my stuff myself, it stays home. If I visit a relative I bring even less because they let me do laundry. I have an overnight bag and a bigger tote bag. We watched someone bring 5 suitcases for a weekend trip.
Recently, I’ve been giving my daughter a pair of earrings or a pin if she asks for them. I had a small pin I can’t remember ever wearing that I’m giving to my daughter in law. I gave a friend a bag of beads I had never used or worn. I have very few clothes or shoes. I want so much less.
My daughter is moving back with us after 20 years on her own. She has sold or given away 60 to 80% of her books, hobby stuff and clothes. She is keeping only 2 pieces of furniture. Most of my furniture is second hand or from Ikea.
I store my hobby stuff flat or in small boxes. My art is on display at a local museum and I am doing a show at a forest preserve.I get my supplies second hand.
I have some ripped, stained wool sweaters I will felt for a flower project. I have a shoebox of DVD’s for another project. I use your modules for each craft. I gave away lots of beads that I had been given. Except for two pairs of pants and four tops, all my clothes are second hand. I was given so much cardboard and fabric I gave it to two preschools and a Sunday school. I am still playing the minimalist game of getting rid of stuff.