Every Monday I post Real Life Minimalists, a profile of one of my readers in their own words. If you’d like to participate, click here for details. (Note: the schedule is now full until June — but if you don’t mind waiting, feel free to send me your submission!)
Today, we have a truly inspirational story from Caroline Garnet McGraw. She tells us about her experiences living and working in a L’Arche community, and reminds us that it’s people, not things, that make our lives remarkable.
Caroline writes:
Caroline and Jonathan
I’m Caroline Garnet McGraw, real-life minimalist writer behind the new blog, A wish come clear.
Minimalism has been central to my thinking and ethos ever since I arrived in Washington, DC nearly 4 years ago. When I moved to DC after graduating from Vassar College, I moved into a place called L’Arche. L’Arche is an international, non-profit organization that creates communities where people with and without intellectual disabilities share daily life together. Moving into a L’Arche home meant that I brought everything I possessed to a single room (not hard for a recent college grad) and gained twelve housemates, none of whom I’d ever met before (much harder for the recent grad!)
But I came to understand something valuable about having less: it meant sharing more. It meant coming downstairs to hang out with everyone in the living room rather than staying by myself. Likewise, moving to a city where I knew two people at the start meant I had the freedom to make new friends. As I’m a natural introvert, this was a blessing – having fewer friends going in to L’Arche meant that I was more open to the potential friendships before me.
At L’Arche, direct-care assistants live in close proximity to one another, and to the people they support. This means long hours, but it also builds camaraderie. We have meaningful, minimalist celebrations of each person’s birthday, where the only agenda items are: 1) verbally affirm the person’s gifts 2) give a small gift and 3) eat dessert together. When my husband and I planned our wedding, our shared experience of community life greatly influenced the choices we made. We chose a simple, intimate ceremony held in the parlor of a historic home, and we limited our guest-list to 36. It wasn’t always easy to stand firm on the smaller-scale wedding, but the rewards are lasting: no debt, and beautiful, unique memories.
Moving to L’Arche after college and remaining there since has helped me develop a minimalist definition of success. The rest of the world may include wealth, power and nice cars in their definition. Mine includes just two things: the company of those I love and the opportunity to do work I value and enjoy.
If hadn’t found contentment in the simple, daily acts of life at L’Arche, I might have missed this insight. Now, I work toward creating a life for myself that is rich and full…and simple. I try to do less, that what I do may have greater meaning. I de-accumulate with the awareness that what is extraneous to me may be essential to someone else. As I live in a small apartment with my husband, Jonathan, we have regular opportunities for re-evaluating all we own. (A studio apartment makes clutter readily apparent!) We are also car-free, as we live in a walk-able neighborhood that is very close to the L’Arche home where Jonathan works. (I commute to work for L’Arche Arlington, but am able to work from home approximately two days per week.) These lifestyle choices mean I have more time and energy left to create, to share the stories of the remarkable people I’ve met in L’Arche.
Thank you for reading, and come visit me over at A wish come clear!
{If you’d like to learn more about minimalist living, please consider reading my book, The Joy of Less, A Minimalist Living Guide, or subscribing to my RSS feed.}
Lovely post. I do enjoy your blog.
Thank you Heather! Affirmation appreciated.
You are very welcome. : )
Thank you, Francine, for the opportunity to share my story! :) Thrilled to be part of the Real Life Minimalist series.
Very cool. Living in a commumal type home sounds like it definitely has its advantages. You have a built-in community whose values and ideals are similar to your own. I am going to definitely check out your blog!
Bernice
More about Living a Balanced Life
Well said, Bernice! Thank you :)
L’Arche sounds amazing, and it’s interesting to hear how living there has influenced your minimalist approach to life.
Thanks for sharing.
Thanks Jason! L’Arche is, indeed, an amazing place. Being a part of it has challenged me in so many ways: letting go of some possessiveness in regards to my stuff, redefining a ‘successful’ life…
I’m only just on my way to a less cluttered life. I thought it would mean just being able to walk down the hallways of my house without stepping on toys, but I am finding it means so much more. I have more free time, more space for creativity, more appreciation for nature (yup, that too) more deep sighs of relief. I also have less of some things, less cabinet avalanches, less laundry to fold, less distractions. I look forward to heading over to your blog and checking it out. It sounds like a lovely lifestyle.
Thank you Megan! Agreed ~ what starts out as de-cluttering and opening up physical space often grows into so much more.
Caroline, you are amazing! L’Arche sounds like a wonderful way to live. Thank you for sharing your story with us!
You’re most welcome, Rosa ~ thanks for your comment!
Thank you for the story Caroline! My friend has an “intellectually disabled” son with autism and he fascinates me. I cant begin to fathom the struggles he would have being labelled as different, and often wonder if that is even fair, when he has this huge heart and is amazing to me. I just see him as having a different way of expressing this. I just want to tell him it’s all going to be fine, but can never find the words, so am very heartened to read your story. I love on your website where you said we are all intellectually disabled in some way – that is so true. Cant wait to read more of your blog!
You’re most welcome, Miakat! You describe that feeling so well: knowing that your friends’ son has a tremendous capacity to love and be loved, and seeing that that capacity is all that matters. So glad to ‘meet’ you! :)
I try to do less, that what I do may have greater meaning…
Wow,that sentence resonnate in me! I’m trying to streamline my life, belongings, and my schedule… What a wonderful way to reframe it and not feel so bad about what I will have to drop or refuse. Thank you!
Thanks, Minimalist Wannabe :) The Joy of Less has a similarly-freeing section on re-framing your ‘no’: seeing ‘no’ as not just a refusal, but as a ‘yes’ to yourself, to a richer, fuller life.
I’ve lived in Silver Spring my entire life, but never heard of L’Arche. Sounds very interesting!
Hi Caroline ~ check out http://www.larchewashingtondc.org for more info; we have 2 homes in the Adams Morgan neighborhood of DC and 2 in Arlington, VA! Thanks for reading :)
Beautiful post and a lovely lesson- own less, share more. Love it!
Thank you Kim! All the comments actually inspired me to let go of a few more items this weekend. Thanks for reading :)
I have been given so many sets of dishes, just got another bunch. Kept a big tray and a serving bowl. I have 2 or 3 pieces from 5 or 6 different sets. Used the biggest trays to put my plants on when I brought them in for fall.
Then I reread about the people living in the group home with very little, not even house plants. I have more to give away.