(Photo: From the time I was young, I’ve had mixed feelings about the holidays. While I love the excitement, the festivity, and the gatherings with family and friends, I’ve always dreaded the “stuff” that seems to come along with it.
When I was a child, I couldn’t articulate just what it was that made me so uncomfortable about Christmas. I enjoyed the anticipation, and how the spirit of the season made the everyday world seem more magical (I’ve always had a thing for fairy lights.) But the day after opening my mountain of presents, I’d tuck them away as quickly as possible, unsure of how to handle the sudden barrage of new possessions.
I began to understand my problem as a young adult. Immediately after Thanksgiving, I’d go into defensive mode. I knew stuff would soon be flying at me from all directions (from family, relatives, friends, colleagues). I’d try my best to get out of gift exchanges, and dodged social calls that might involve presents (“let’s get together after the holidays instead”), but I felt like I was fighting a losing battle. In the end, I’d graciously accept what was given to me, and then return, regift, or donate what I could.
Fortunately, as my minimalist lifestyle became more understood and accepted, things changed. At first, people despaired about what to get me. “You’re so hard to shop for!” was a common refrain. Eventually, though, there came a point where I could rest easy; the vast majority of gifts I received were of a consumable nature (food, wine, homemade cookies). Better yet, many friends were happy to get together for a holiday lunch or dinner in lieu of exchanging presents.
In fact, as awkward as the topic often was to address, it seemed that the end of a gift exchange brought a sense of relief all around. I honestly think that a lot fewer presents would change hands if people had an easy way to say “Let’s stop.” While I’ve never personally used one, I like the idea of a gift exemption certificate, as shown here and here.
If you’d like to join me in making this holiday a minimalist one, here are some ideas to consider:
Gifts. Try to limit gift exchanges as much as possible. Propose alternatives (like a get-together instead of presents) to friends and family. At the very least, express a preference for consumables; it’ll dramatically decrease your post-Christmas clutter. For those with children, consider following Heather’s example in her comment to my Born Minimalist? post. She gives her young son four gifts for Christmas, and asks him to donate one to Toys for Tots. (I just love this idea!)
Cards. The vast majority of holiday cards wind up in the trash by January, so consider emailing a holiday greeting instead. You’ll save time, money, and the environment. If you feel you must send a card, consider recycling an old one—cut off the picture on the front, and send as a postcard.
Decorations. Give yourself permission to enjoy other people’s decorations, instead of feeling obligated to display your own. I haven’t had a Christmas tree, or decorated my home with lights, in years; I much prefer walking around neighborhoods and downtown streets, and admiring everyone else’s efforts. 
If anything, opt for natural décor (greenery, berries, and pine cones) instead of mass-produced, store-bought items.
Just because you’re a minimalist doesn’t mean you can’t enjoy the holidays. In fact, you may even enjoy them more! The key is focusing on the experience of the holidays, rather than the stuff.
Even though my husband and I won’t be sending cards, exchanging gifts, or putting up any decorations, we’re looking forward to the season with the same anticipation we had as children. We love seeing the streets of London turn into Dickensian scenes of twinkling lights. We’ve also booked a trip to the Christmas markets in Cologne, Germany—not to buy anything, but rather to nibble stollen and sip hot chocolate while taking in the festive atmosphere around us.
I’d love to hear how others plan to celebrate the holidays. Are you taking any steps to simplify your Christmas (or Hanukkah, Kwanzaa, winter solstice, etc.)?
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I like the sentiment that just because you are a minimalist doesn’t mean you can’t enjoy the holidays. My plans this year are to do a little bit of baking for a couple of elderly ladies I have met. Also, my grown kids are all starving students so a giftcard or cash will help them out a lot. And that’s about it. I plan to buy a pointsettia or two and that will encompass my decorating. I’m looking forward to a quiet holiday w/o a lot of fanfare or extravagance. That will make me happy.
~janet
Some holly and pine brought in from the garden, along with a few “fairy lights,” and we call it “done.”
Me and mine pamper ourselves with perishables and appreciating the decor and community festivities is becoming a tradition. The more I read your blog, I am convinced we hail from the same tribe!
Love this blog. Please don’t turn this into another self-help blog.
janet, great idea for your kids–when I was a starving student, cash was my favorite gift! And I think a few poinsettias would be perfect in your little cottage.
Jean, your holiday decor sounds beautiful; there’s nothing more lovely than natural materials and twinkling white lights. Very simple, yet very elegant.
I love how this blog enables me to connect with kindred souls.
Thanks, Michel! Could you elaborate on this comment?
I appreciate feedback from my readers–especially on what kind of content they do (and do not) enjoy.
I linked this post on my facebook status with the following note: “Here. This sums up well what I’ve been unable to articulate myself.
….”
So, thanks! (and I so hope you don’t mind.)
love meagan
I just wrote something like this in my blog the other day. When I was a kid, there were many a Christmas where we didn’t get presents. It seemed kind of sucky at the time, but now that I am older, I realize that I don’t remember a whole lot of the gifts we did get. However, I always remember the food and the family/ friends that got together to enjoy the food. That is what the holidays were always about then, but somewhere along the line, it got perverted into the monster it is today. I always wanted to make sure that my kids received lots of presents for Christmas and I admit to going into a spending frenzy during the holidays, but now that I am older and have put in many years behind a retail counter, I help but realize how much I messed up by joining the masses of frenzied consumers trying to compete with last year and everyone else. Simple is better!
meagan, thanks so much for sharing my post on facebook–I really appreciate it!
Dreamer, I agree–I have much warmer memories of our family gatherings, than I do of any presents I received. I’m looking forward to reading your blog!
We keep it simple..lots of white lights though…love white lights!!! We have a small tree with about 40 ornaments on it. With a 4 year old, he enjoys this. I tend to prefer whites, silver and natural elements—something that can be put out before Christmas and carried through the dreary days of late winter. I do have one HUGE wreath on the outside of the house…I gather up the branches myself and add a big bow. I have about 4 white jar candles that I put out— I love to make cookies this time of year and we read alot about our particular religion and just go to the malls, outside walking areas…wherever it is all decorated up. My son enjoys this greatly and it usually costs us nothing more than 3 hot white chocolate cocoas!!! : )
Heather, what lovely holiday traditions…I think it’s wonderful that your son will grow up enjoying simple, meaningful Christmases. And I agree, I love white lights, too! In our former house, we had them in the living room year round.
I’m a little late since I just found your site now, but I thought I’d add our Xmas ‘tradition,’ new this year. We have three small children. We gave each of them 3-4 gifts, things we knew they really wanted (no clothes!) and then we started a new tradition, which was to log on to kiva.org on Xmas day and have each of them pick out an entrepreneur somewhere in the world to and make a microloan in their name. I think they thought the loan was more interesting than their gifts!
Tracy, I absolutely *love* the kiva.org idea–thank you so much for sharing this! What a wonderful way to get children excited about *giving*!