Goodbye, Stuff

a(Photo: sflovestory)

Dear Stuff,

I’m not sure how to break this to you…but the time has come for us to part ways. Sure, we have a long history, but we simply can’t go on pretending that we’re still happy together.

It seems that after all these years, our relationship has lost its spark. I recall the magic of when we first met: how your shiny newness caught my eye, how I vowed to have you at any price, how excited I was to bring you home.

It didn’t take long, however, for the novelty to wear away. Maybe it was the thrill of the hunt, but once you were mine, you no longer seemed quite so attractive. In fact, much of the time, you just seemed to be in the way.

What’s more, you never really lived up to your promises or expectations: owning you didn’t make me any smarter, happier, cooler, or sexier. Instead, our relationship drained my energy and my wallet. I’ve spent untold hours (and dollars) keeping you looking nice and in good repair, protecting you from theft, and moving you around when I’ve had to relocate.

To be honest, though, your presence in my living room, bedroom, kitchen, and closets is stifling me. I can’t help but wonder how you’ve expanded so much over the years. I’m getting tired of stepping over you, cleaning around you, and generally wondering what to do with you. I need some space, some serenity, some room to breathe.

Of course, you’re not entirely to blame; I was no angel, either. Though I kept a roof over your head, I never really lavished you with attention. I shoved you away in boxes and closets, sometimes neglected to maintain you, and all too often simply ignored you.

Therefore, I think you’ll also be better off without me. You’ll have a happier life with someone else—someone who wants you, needs you, and appreciates you for what you are. And don’t worry, I won’t be so cruel as to leave you out on the curb. I’ll post flattering photos of you on Craigslist, sing your praises on Freecycle, and contact charitable organizations to find you that special someone.

So I guess this is goodbye…Let’s part without regrets, and look on this as a new beginning. I already feel like a weight has been lifted off my shoulders, and I’m ready to embark on a new life—unencumbered, footloose, and full of possibility!

Yours Truly,

Miss M.

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